Real Men Take Pink Showers!

They’ve been cleaning out the pond behind our house that was overrun with some sort of plant. Well, my husband was kind enough to warn me that this cleaning may scare up a few snakes. I’m not stupid; I’ve seen snakes. So, I decided to keep the kids indoors Monday instead of risking coming across a snake in the backyard. We’ve already seen that Evie isn’t scared of a dead one, so I’m not sure if she’d be scared of a live one.

Well, I forgot about April Fool’s day. Most days I don’t even remember what day it is, much less the date! Shit, I can’t even remember to take two pills by myself without having a damn calender on the fridge, and even then I still forget them. So, of course, anyone would be able to pull one over on me.

Enter Nathan and his April Fool’s phone call:

Him: "Hey, I told you them cleaning the pond was gonna scare all the snakes in the yard. There was a big one in the front yard this morning!"

Me: "Really?"

Him: "Yeah! It was big!"

Me: "Ew! What did you do?"

Him: "Well, I killed it...duh."

Me: "How? What did you do with it?"

Him: "With a shovel. And then I threw it in the pond."

Me: "Yuck! How big was it?"

Him: "I don’t know. Maybe 4 or 5 feet. I think it was a water moccasin."

Me: "Ew...where was it?"

Him: "Laying by the garden gnome."

Me: "Oh fabulous. Now I won’t even be able to walk out the front door!"

Him: ::giggle:: "April Fool’s"

Me: "Oh, you asshole! That’s not even funny!"

So, all day long I was pissed that a) he got me, and b) I couldn’t think of a way to get him. Last year all of these women online had all of these ideas on how to prank their husbands and I thought that they were so cruel. But as the day wore on, one idea kept seeming better and better.

And as I was talking to Whitney on the phone, the idea seemed perfect. I ran it by her, and she agreed!

So, after a quick phone call to Rudy-to-the-Rescue (thanks dad), I gathered my supples: a step ladder, a pipe wrench, and one hot pink Easter egg dye tablet. Then I headed to the scene of the crime: the master bathroom shower stall!

I locked myself in there because I knew that Emmit would tell on me. I can just hear it now: "Daddy, mommy took the shower apart!" So, after a little cussing, I finally got the shower head off and dropped my hot pink Easter egg dye tablet in! Then I reassemble, wiped up any evidence, and put my tools away.

Then I just sat and waited! After the new picnic table was assembled & the plywood was laid in the attic, I was certain he’d need a shower before bed!

Sure enough, at 11 PM, he headed for the bathroom, and I stood in wait, giggling outside the bathroom door. It didn’t go off exactly as planned (I hoped it wouldn’t dissolve until he got IN the shower, but apparently there was water in the shower head that I forgot to dump), but he still got a shock! When he turned on the knob, PINK WATER came shooting out at him. I heard "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!?"

April Fool’s to you too, asshole!