Emmit-speak

They aren’t called "Peeps", they are "squeakers".

They aren’t called "ear plugs", they are "ear GLOVES".

And we’re not sure where he heard it, but he looked at Evie and threatened to "roll you like a corndog."

I Couldn't Make This One Up (Best Emmit-ism EVER!)

This morning, I got the kids ready to go to the grocery store and went into the bathroom to get myself ready.

As I was brushing my teeth, Emmit came in with a small red plastic coat hanger in his mouth. Before I could fuss at him to take it out, he looked at me and said...

"LOOK, MOMMA! I’M A HOOKER!"

Houston, We Have A Problem!

We bought Evie a potty in November hoping to jumpstart the PLing. Well, she briefly showed interest & that fizzled quickly. The potty gets carted all around & used as a hat, step stool, baby seat, and has even been used as an easel. But it’s never been used as a potty.

Last night, after a shower, Evie was running around naked, and I decided to see if she’d give the potty a try. I asked if she needed to pee, and she said yes. I expected her to walk up to the potty, turn, and sit. I quickly realized we may have a bit of a problem...

Yeah...how do you explain to a 2 year old that she can’t stand to pee like her big brother?

Growing Up Way Too Fast...Then Again, Maybe Not

After a hard day of playing, we were enjoying a quiet dinner at home. We never really have trouble finding interesting topics to discuss, and today was no different. We talked about all of the fun we had playing outside, and then the talk turned to birthdays, as today is an aunt’s birthday.

We started discussing how old Emmit would be next year, as he’s already celebrated his 4th birthday this year. And then we ask him what he wants to be when he grows up.

Emmit thinks for a second & says, "I want to be a doctor when I grow up." Of course, Mommy’s heart swells with pride! What mother wouldn’t be proud of that?

Then, I’m quickly snapped out of my blissful flash-forward & reminded that he is only 4 when he says, "Or I could be a starfish...or a waffle."

4 Years Old & Has A Solution For Everything

Last night, we were discussing the Easter Bunny with Emmit. We were telling him that TEB was going to come & leave a basket of goodies and hide our eggs in the backyard. I explained that we were going to leave our dyed eggs in the refrigerator, and TEB would get them out, take them outside & hide them.

Emmit didn’t miss a beat...

"The Easter Bunny is too short to open the refrigerator. But we can just leave him a ladder."

Yeah...so we had to leave a step ladder for TEB.

This Kid Keep Me Laughing

As we were driving to get Nathan earlier today, Emmit was talking about his little cousin, Christian. He’s been going on & on about him for the past few days.

So, then he starts with the "Momma, when I was little..." (like it was so long ago). He talked about where he slept, where he sat, etc. Then...

"Momma, when I was little, did I drink milk from your boobies?"

"Yes, you drank milk from my boobies & from a bottle. So did Evie."

He says, "Ah...good times!"

I Have A Real Name!

Last night, we went out to dinner at an adult restaurant. You know, one where they give you cloth napkins & glasses instead of paper napkins & cups with lids?

So, about halfway through the meal, the waiter came up and asked if I’d like a refill. I told him yes, and he walked away.

Emmit said, "Momma, that guy said your name!" all impressed.

I said, "Who said my name?" looking around the restaurant wondering who in Baton Rouge would have said my name.

Emmit was pointing off into nowhere, so I tried to brush him off and enjoy my dinner.

He’s a persistant little booger though and kept it up.

"He really said your name. He did!"

"Well, I didn’t hear him. He doesn’t know my name."

"I heard him! He said it!"

"Emmit, no he didn’t. Just hush and finish eating."

So, the waiter returns and fills my glass, and says, "Here you go, ma’am."

Emmit puts his little hand beside his mouth like he’s telling me a secret and says, "See, he called you momma!".

Lincoln Logs

Emmit got some Lincoln Logs for his birthday (thanks Aunt Chanda...I’ll kick your ass after the baby comes). So, when we got home, he said he wanted to play with his new "beat up toys", which one can only assume came from him hearing me threaten to kick my sister-in-law’s ass when I saw them.

Anyway, after explaining that he could only play with them in one area and that he had to pick them all up when he was done for fear that the dog would turn them into chew toys (she has a thing for wood...pencils, clothespins, etc.), he turned to Mattie, and said firmly, "These are not snacks."

So, he sat down & dumped his bucket on the floor...all 100 pieces. His little face dropped when he saw the mound in front of him, and he quickly said, "Momma, I need the "ra-rections". So, being the let-him-figure-it-out-on-his-own kind of mother that I am, I handed him the paper, and walked out of the room for a few minutes.

He sat there quietly, and then I hear:

"Momma, I can’t put this together!"

I call back, "Why not, Bubba?"

He says, "Because there aren’t any screws!"

The First Blog Since I Got Old

Yep, it's official...I'm old. It happened Sunday. I woke up, and WHAM! I was thirty. I never even saw it coming.

Okay, well, I did, but...

So, what's been going on, you ask? What's that? You didn't ask? Well, who cares? I'm gonna tell it. If you don't want to know, you shouldn't have clicked.

Evie turned 2 a few days before I turned old. She's such a little diva, as you can see in my new profile pic. That's her birthday tiara. She tried wearing it as a mask at first. She just didn't get it. I guess that's why they labeled it "ages 3+". Amanda (my sister) and I spent part of my birthday making said "pincess" a pink & purple tutu to wear to her birthday party. It's oh-so cute! Pair it with the white onsie that I just embellished with an iron-on jeweled crown, and she's gonna be a hit for sure.

Emmit is still as funny as ever. He got a brand new bicycle for his birthday (still two weeks away), and he rides like a pro (still with training wheels). We let him pick his own helmet & he chose one that he can color on with special Crayola markers. It's decorated with all kinds of Emmit drawings. Lovely, I tell you.

Hmm...what else...

I had all of this funny, witty stuff that I wanted to blog about, but with my meds & my old age, they seemed to have slipped my mind.

I'm sure I'll think of something. Stay tuned...