Attack Of The Marshmallow Man

Yesterday morning, we think Nathan's alarm clock woke Emmit up, but, he's sneaky, so we didn't hear him get up. A little while later, Emmit was standing by my bed saying "Momma, I don't feel good. My tummy hurts!" Immediately, I sent him to the bathroom. Little dude wasn't going to puke on my carpet.

So, I rolled out of bed and walked in his bathroom to check on him. He was just standing there, holding his stomach. I asked if he was okay and he said, "I think I need to take a shower." It didn't strike me as strange at the time because if he ever does get sick, I let him take a shower when he's done (b/c showers make everything better, right?).

Well, while I was waiting to see if he was going to puke, I turned around and looked down the hallway. I noticed the living room looked unusually bright. So, I walked to see what was going on. I saw Mattie's dog food bucket sitting in the middle of the kitchen (which means someone was in the pantry) and a cabinet door open. I immediately knew Emmit had been into something.

So, I storm back to the bathroom & ask "What did you eat?" to which my little man responds, "Marshmallows". Marshmallows? It's 7:30 in the morning & he's been up eating marshmallows! No wonder his stomach hurts!

I asked how many he ate, to which I get, "Just 4" (while he's holding up 5 fingers). I said, "Get in the bed and go back to sleep." He started crying again and said, "But I'm all sticky." UGH! Yeah...that's why he wanted a shower! He wanted to wash away the evidence!

Later when we got up for the day, I found the bag of marshmallows laying on the couch. Let me just say...he ate way more than 4!

Ramblings Of An Insane Pregnant Lady

After watching Grey's (thanks DVR), I settled into bed hoping for some sweet McDreamy dreams. Yeah...right. Instead, I get a raging case of heartburn. 45 minutes later, I've hit my daily quota of Tums & I'm still laying there trying to get to sleep.

And then I say to myself, "Self, you've got three choices. You can either (a) lie here & be miserable, (b) go do something constructive, like clean the bathrooms, or (c) go get online."

Well, I'm sure you all are guessing "C", right? Nope...at 12:45AM, I found myself standing in the bathroom admiring the micro-lock fibers on the back of my Lysol wipe.

Now, some may say, "Aww....you're nesting." Yeah...nesting...you know, like a momma bird getting the nest ready for babies. Um, no. This kid isn't going to be using that bathroom when he/she gets here.

You know what it is...

INSANITY! I think I'm losing my mind. What sane person crawls out of a nice warm bed to scrub not one, but two toilets? I even cleaned the mirrors for crying out loud! And I scrubbed dried-up toothpaste out of the sinks (okay, I admit...my sink was the worst).

Oh, and just so you know...the sound of a plastic dustpan hitting ceramic tile at 1AM creates enough noise to send a sleeping 4 year old into hysterics.

Horrible Mommy Moment

We all know that 2 year olds can throw tantrums...mean ones! So, when Evie started crying because she didn't get the sippy cup that she wanted, I left her to throw her tantrum in the kitchen.

Flash forward 5 minutes...Evie was standing in the exact same spot, crying the exact same amount. The tone hadn't changed; the volume hadn't changed...nothing. Same cry.

So, I got up and walked in there only to find that the child is STUCK! Stuck by the HAIR in a cabinet hinge! OMG!

Guilt hit me almost immediately. When I got her free (minus a chunk of hair), she said, "Momma, it bited my hair!"



Poor kid probably has a huge bald spot now!

The What?

Emmit had a soccer game this morning. Since it was an early game, we had lots of choices for parking.

As we pulled into our spot right in front of the port-a-potty, Emmit says cheerfully, "Look! We're parking right by the pee-pee house".

A Boy And His Flashlight

Here we sit in the dark for no apparent reason. The power is out. Thank you, DIMco. Emmit was in his bed, watching his nightly show when it went out. You should have heard the screaming!

So, Nathan stumbled in the dark back to get him & brought him in the living room. I fumbled around and found a flashlight & some matches to light a candle or two.

And then my chili dogs kicked in. Hey, I'm 24.5 weeks pregnant & ate chili dogs. When you've got to go, you've gotta go. So, I headed to the bathroom. And of course, while I'm in there, Nathan has to go too. That would leave Emmit...alone...with nothing but a flashlight.

As I'm taking care of business, I hear Emmit just outside the door. I can see the flashlight beam zooming around and around, and this little chant: "I'm trying to be brave! I'm trying to be brave!"

What Color Is This One?

So, Evie is not very good with her colors. Everything is blue. EVERYTHING! And she's a pretty convincing little girl. Sometimes I think I may be color blind.

So, we're sitting outside with a box of 24 crayons. She keeps asking "What color this one?" She definitely has blue down. So, I'm going through each color, telling her what they are & she repeats.

All of a sudden, she says "EWW! I got a dirty one" as she pulls a color from the box.

Yeah...BROWN!

What's Crackin'?

Monday night, we all sat down for dinner. Emmit ate and got up to go do something. I told him to come back to the table. When he sat down, we heard a loud CRUNCH!

I said, "OMG! What was that?"

Emmit says, very nonchalantly, "Oh, that was the egg in my pocket", and pulls a crushed, dripping egg out of his pants!