I Swear I'm Buying A Sign

No one ever knocks on my door...EVER!

So, today, I'm sitting around the house, bra-less, hair unbrushed. The kids were running around in their undies & night shirts. The UPS man had already rang the door bell & sprinted back to his truck like a freakin' Olympian (thanks for the flowers, dear), but thankfully no one had seen us.

Then as the kids were eating lunch and I was sweeping the kitchen, the dog freaks out because apparently someone knocked quietly on the door. Why? Because apparently they can't see the doorbell or something...whatever.

Anyway, so I peek out the blinds & it's some little kid with a bottle of cleaner. "Wonderful", I think to myself, "it's those damn vacuum cleaner people. I'll just tell them I already have a Rainbow and be done with it." Easy enough!

Nope. She starts this prepared speech about hard water & mildew, and I can hardly contain my excitement. I know exactly how to shut her up. I cut her off..."We don't use chemicals to clean."

Satisfied with myself, I think she'll walk off.

Nope, the bitch squirts the shit on her finger and pops it in her mouth.

Guess who has a bottle sitting on the bar now?

Someone either needs to take my credit card or buy me a "No soliciting" sign.