What a freakin' day!

So, after only 3.5 short hours of sleep, the alarm went off this morning at 7. Okay, I know 7 isn't all that early for some, but for me, it's pretty damn early.

So, I got my lazy ass up and stumbled to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I brushed my teeth & washed my face. Then I saw that my hair was a freakin' mess. So, I decided to hop in the shower. Jumped out, and by that time it's hitting on 7:30. I put on some makeup & got my clothes on. I made a mental note to do laundry, as I was forced to wear a nursing bra. WTH? I haven't nursed in well over a year & a half. But it's the only one clean that will tame these puppies.

As I was dressing, I remembered that I needed to load the stroller in the van. Then I remembered that the last time we used the stroller, I had commented that I was going to take the canopy off & leave it at home b/c it got in the kids' way. So, I dug around for a screwdriver (which sounds a lot easier than it is) and went to the garage. When I finally got the damn stroller down off of its too-small hooks, I realized that I didn't even need the stupid screwdriver. So, canopy off; stroller in van. WOW! That van's a freakin' mess. Then I spent the next 5 minutes cleaning out the van.

Back inside. Time to wake the kidlets. Evie woke up as soon as I opened the door & gave me a you've-got-to-be-kidding-me look. She was all smiles by the time I got her diaper changed. I put her down to go wake up Emmit. He was much easier than I expected.

Then was the great breakfast debate. Waffles? Pancakes? Toast? Cereal? We finally settled on crescent rolls (the kind in the can). So, I put them on the pan & decided that while the oven was preheating, I'd find them some clothes. Then came the great sock hunt. Finally found everything for everyone. I even got their shoes & jackets ready.

Crescents in the oven. Let's pack the diaper bag. Wait...where is the diaper bag? In the van? No, I would have seen it while I was cleaning. I know I brought it in. Search Emmit's room, Evie's room, master bedroom, both bathrooms, living room & dining room. No bag. Where the hell is it? Do another sweep, this time with a little helper. Well, you know when they say "looked high & low"? Well, apparently I was only looking low. Found...1 diaper bag on top shelf in closet. Hmm...great idea until you forget where it is. Wait...what's that smell?!

Thankfully breakfast wasn't a total loss; just a little brown. Feed the kids, find my shoes, wipe the kids off. While wiping Evie, I realize she has a mysterious rash around her mouth. Fan-freakin'-tastic. Pick her up. Great...now Momma has to change shirts. Coverless prefold+urine=wet Momma hip.

I got her changed & ready. Then it was Emmit's turn. Pants - check; shirt - check (even thought that's NOT the one he wanted to wear); socks - check; shoes - check...no wait, where's the other shoe? I know I had it around here somewhere. We spent the next 5 minutes searching low AND high for the shoe. Turns out it was on the couch under the pillow I was leaning on.

Great...now it's 8:35. We're 5 minutes late. Everyone to the van! After getting Evie in, and begging Emmit to put his harness on, I decided to do it myself. "Put your arms down, kid. The harness won't fit with your arms above your head. No, stop! Put Woody down for a second & put your arm in." UGH!

I got in the van, and realized I forgot my sunglasses inside. Mommy back in the house. Oh, I forgot to lock the back door after letting the dog back in. Oh, and the butter is still sitting on the counter. What did I do with my keys (hanging in the door). Now, what was I looking for? Sunglasses clip. Found it. Out! Wait...forgot to change shirts! Back inside for a quick change. Then out...again.

I opened the garage & started the van. Backing out I hear "THUMP". Well, shit. What did I hit? Oh, just the mirror. Flip it back & we're on our way...now 15 minutes late!

We get to O'neal & some asshole in a Save-a-lot truck decided that he owns the road and the "60 mph strictly enforced" sign does not apply to him. He was whipping in and out of traffic. Okay, now I'm stuck in the outside lane w/ramp traffic coming on and nowhere to go b/c jerkwad is riding my bumper & there's a car in the other lane doing like 12. So, these two big trucks loaded w/some sort of construction equipment fly onto the interstate and try to get all the way over to the inside lane.

All of a sudden, I hear WAP! "Oh, you better be glad that rock didn't break my window, you stupid son-of-a-... WAP! Oh, you asshole! You broke my windshield." Then I hear, "Momma, don't say asshole." LMAO!

The Old Navy trip was a success. $81 spent for $341 worth of clothes. Then we hit the other Target for a few things.

When we got back to Denham, I spent the next 30 minutes driving up & down Range looking for a windshield repair place. My husband's directions..."Yeah...there's one on Range...somewhere." Yeah, genius. Range runs the entire length of the freakin' city. I'm not driving all the way to Watson hunting for a place. I got just past Antique Village & turned around. I passed two places on the way home, so I turned around & got it repaired without ever leaving the car!

Things are looking up now. Evie's asleep. Emmit's not being overly bad (just bad), and I got FLUFFY MAIL! I love fluffy mail. A new sustainableBabyish flat & snappi from Diaperswappers!